I had the most spectacular time "making food" this evening that it's inspired me to make a whole blog.
So, I don't cook. I rarely cook. My boyfriend works at McDonalds, so I don't have to worry about making edible food most of the week. No, I'm not doing well, nutritionally.
Anyway, in 2018, I worked at a call center as a credit card debt collector. That doesn't matter- What matters is the night shift manager's (Rochelle's) Cheesy Pasta. It was just about as much spicy as I can handle. Unfortunately, when I walked out of that job, that cheesy pasta walked out of my life. I never got a recipe because I didn't realize I would yearn for this pasta years later.
One thing you need to understand is that I suffer from ADHD and autism. The effects are that I am a lazy bastard most of the time, yet somehow I accomplish full time work and full time college without spontaneously combusting. There are certain things I can keep up with - anything related to the kitchen is not among them.
I actually had the intention of cooking a real recipe, but when I discovered my onions were two weeks expired, I took a look at the recipe, and myself. My heart told me, this recipe wasn't what I wanted. So, I decided to wing it.
Disclaimer: This is not a recipe.
Ingredients:
An amount of angel hair pasta
An amount of olive oil
One of those long smoked turkey sausages found near the lunch meat section
1/4 cup of butter
A little over 1/4 cup of flour
An amount of milk
Salt
Pepper
Garlic Powder
Cayenne Pepper
Part one: Pasta
So, I glanced at the instructions of this angel hair pasta, held a pot over the sink, and put an amount of water in the pot. I put the pot on the cooking part of the stove (bottom right burner) and got the turkey sausage out of the fridge.
Then, I realized I left the milk out for about an hour after I threw out the food I forgot about (explanation above).
While the water was coming to a boil, I cut up the sausage and ate a piece. It reminded me of summer camp as a child, where they gave us hot dogs as "fish bait". I always ate at least one piece, claiming I lost it.
For some unknown reason, despite the quick cook time for angel hair pasta, I put olive oil in a skillet next to the almost-boiling pot and set it to medium heat. I put the angel hair pasta into the pot, finished fiddling around with the olive oil in the skillet, and put the sausage in.
It was at that point I realized I forgot to set any sort of time measurement for the pasta, and, much like this recipe, its doneness was determined based on vibes.
Part two: Sausage
I'm not great at flipping meat over in a skillet. I'm very concerned about getting every piece evenly cooked on both sides. However, the task today was heating up already-cooked-sausage, so I wasn't going to worry. Plus, I had unknown-doneness pasta going on as well.
I checked the pasta a few times, I think I managed to capture the moment that it was al-dente, poured out a minimal amount of water, and focused back on the sausage.
Nothing really else to note about the sausage. When it was done, I thought putting it back on the cutting board was a bit too messy, so I put it all on a paper plate.
Once the sausage was no longer in danger of burning, I tried to drain the pasta a bit better. 1/4 of the cooked pasta escaped directly into the kitchen sink drain.
Part three: Sauce
In the moments leading up to deciding to make dinner without any instruction, I watched a portion of "Basics with Babish." Mr. Babish guides you, audibly and visually - but not in writing unless you want to provide your credit card number. Anyhow - I vaguely knew what to do, and what not to do, on making a bechamel sauce.
I threw a ~1/4c slab of butter into the skillet the sausage had cooked in. The pan was much hotter than it should be, because that butter instantly browned beyond what was acceptable in Mr. Babish's video. Regardless, that is a whole 4 tablespoons of butter. I must press on.
It did not help that my flour was not measured - I have no idea where my 1/4 cup went so I dunked a 1/3 cup into the flour. If I learned anything from 8th grade home ec, that's not how you do that.
As instructed, I added a bit of maybe-cold milk (remember, it was sitting out for like an hour), mixed that in, added more, you get the drill.
My definitely-not-sauce turned into kind-of-a-sauce. Now for something I never do: seasoning to taste - and actually tasting. I first threw in some amount of salt and pepper - standard seasonings. I added garlic powder because that felt right, and then I added cayenne powder. Remember, Rochelle's cheesy pasta is hot - hot from the sausage, but it would be easier to replicate it with spice than try to find whatever sausage she used.
After tasting, I added an amount more of salt, and probably a tablespoon of cayenne. I tasted it again - it was perfect.
Next came the cheese. I recalled Mr. Babish saying to avoid adding the cheese over heat. I moved the skillet to the burner I boiled the pasta on, because it probably cooled enough at this point. I added 1 cup of colby jack cheese (this was an ingredient intended for the original recipe), and amount of gouda (just because I happened to have it).
After that was all mixed/melted, I added the sausage. I debated on adding the pasta to the skillet, or adding the concoction to the pasta. I decided on the latter. A couple tablespoons spilled onto the side of the pot.
Conclusions:
This was surprisingly very close to what I remember Rochelle's cheesy pasta. If I ever have the courage/willpower/energy to try this again, the only thing it needed was actual cheddar cheese. I don't remember what the sausage she used actually tasted like, so I'll say the sausage was close enough for my needs.
Was this meal healthy? No.
Was this meal good? Kind of.
Here is an image of the end result:
